Yesterday was a bad day…..bad really can not completely describe it.  I woke up to a panicked call from my husbands cousin with results from a biopsy that were very discouraging.  As I listened to her cry on the phone I was frozen in the moment.  I was not sure what to say our how to console her so I just listened.  I asked questions and listened some more.

I went through the day with questions racing through my head.  Where do they go from here?  What is next? What will this year bring?  Unfortunately this is all too real because just one year ago our friends were waiting on the same results for their son.  Questions just continue to race through my mind.  Big ones like how do they get through this? How do they move forward?  Real life questions because here we are living our “Real Life” and it is hard.

The afternoon brought quiet as the kids were eating their snack and I, skimming the internet for the best Gingerbread cookie recipe.  In our house cookies solve all problems.  They are a comfort in the moment and I needed that for my kids.  As I skimmed through websites I bounced back and forth through Facebook and the dreaded announcement came that a friend lost her son just moments ago.  I as well as the friends that surround her were shocked.  This was not expected and while reading the words, he went to heaven to be with Jesus, well….those words just broke my heart.


When there is a loss of a child my mind immediately goes to my nephew.  To the moment we lost him, a moment in time that continues to get further and further away but feels like yesterday.  I will never forget that moment and the car ride home with my broken sister.  It is a moment that no Mom, Dad, Aunt, Uncle or Grandparent should ever have to live.  It is raw and it is so very painful.  2012 has been a beautiful year for many reasons but saying good bye to some amazing children with huge lights in our community continues to be so very hard.

As my family traveled the road of loss it felt extremely lonely.  It felt like no one in the world ever hurt as badly as we did and sometimes still do.   I am humbled by the community of people that surround these hurting Mama’s.  The support and strength they show is beautiful.  So today I think…..I worry……and I pray for peace for all these beautiful families who are healing from the loss of their child and I remember all the lessons my sweet nephew taught me in such a short time.

Heaven is once again dancing tonight as they are celebrating another beautiful angel.  Questions are sometimes never answered and growing up is hard, our babies are such blessings both here on earth and in heaven.

Please do not forget about Noah and Jonathon.  They are still awaiting forever families.  They need love and support and they need a safe home.  Please consider sharing their story by clicking on their names and then the Facebook share button.  Please continue to let your community know about them.  They are right here in the US and they have been waiting 15 years for someone to call them their son.  That is just too long.

I think I just might need another batch of cookies tonight.  OXOXO