Somewhere in between 14 years and today I forgot how to say yes. I used to be a “Yes Mom” and some where between raising kids, a mission and a career I lost it. It feels like I say no to everything, unless of course I am trying to make up for the No’s that I have already said. I am not sure what is right or wrong but I know there should be a yes sprinkled in the no’s. I can’t say this summer was the best. In fact it might be up there with the worst if you asked my kids. Not that they were completely deprived these last 3 months but they definitely have a mom who is completely preoccupied with work. I kept telling myself that if I could complete the task at hand I could relax and pay attention, plan a day trip or just hang out for the afternoon. But when that moment came there was reading to do with the homeschoolers or laundry or packages to be mailed, emails to be answered. So I pushed through the whole summer with a whole lot of work and very little time with my kids.
I know it is part of life. Life is busy and check lists need to be checked off but honestly I never thought I would be that mom. The one with no time. But here I am, in fact I barely have time to even scratch this post down but I want to take the time to remember. I want to remember how this summer turned out. How I felt when I was sending one to high school and 1 to junior high. I want to remember how I sort of blew this summer and the 3 months that could have been a whole lot more family time. I want to remember so that I can try a little harder, pay alittle more attention and be present.
My son asked me today if I was looking forward to him going back to school and the fact is I am not. I know that schedules are better but I miss them. I miss the freedom that I did’t take advantage of this summer. I miss Michigan nights and weekdays around the fire pit. I miss it all and it is not completely over. So what can you do but pick your heart up by its bootstraps and throw yourself into the holidays.
So bring it “Back to school” and “halloween” and “thanksgiving”! Bring it! I am going into a baking, decorating, pumpkin candle burning hibernation! I will celebrate a little more and savor the bedtime routine just a little longer because I only have 4 more years with all these babies in my home. The time is now. So tonight we dropped everything, jumped into the car, ate ice-cream and danced in the sunset.
It felt good to let go. OX Katie