This past week has been a struggle to stay positive. Birthday celebrations in freezing, snowy weather. Nothing to do outside of the house. It has caused me to reach in and figure out how to not only stay positive for myself but for my kids. It is funny how life always gives you what you need, when you need it whether you like it or not. So many gifts have been placed in my lap. Gifts that are reminders that I am on the right track in some areas and off track in others. The battle continues for balance.
So today I took in life. The kids and I worked at our own pace and things got done. We took a spontaneous trip to the store for more reminders of spring. Fresh food and flowers were a must have. After the groceries were put away and the salads were made. I sat at my computer and literally listened to the daffodils open. It was the most beautiful thing to hear and see them open one by one in a vase next to me key board. Something I very well could have been too busy to even notice.
I took time to hang out in the studio, the warmest room in the house and dance with my kids. I find us in there a lot late in the day. The time when the big kids haven’t made it home yet and the boys are laying around doing a whole lot of nothing. All I have to mention is Justin Bieber to my youngest son and he is in.
It feels good to dance off the boredom and reconnect with each other. My schedule has been amazing lately. So many awesome opportunities to do what I love, in spaces that just make me so happy. With that comes a whole lot of insecurities. What am I doing here and how in the world did I even become qualified to be considered for some of these opportunities. FEAR. It is there, always. So when anxiety levels are at their highest I lean in….to the opportunity and to my family. This little (ok big) family make my world a whole lot more secure.
It is funny 4 years ago if you asked me to host a sleep over with 5 boys (on top of my 5) I would totally be game but the anxiety would begin at the moment I said yes! Now these parties and sleep overs roll right over my back. I head to the store and buy as many bags of Doritos as possible (don’t judge) and order up 5 pizzas! I know from experience as long as the food doesn’t run out we are good. Better then good.
So I am taking this new path and these new opportunities the same. I will just keep trying. That is all anyone can ask for anyway.
We are celebrating another special day tomorrow. I will be back with more. I become a mom just 12 short years ago. My oldest baby turns one year older.
With that my friends……Wishing you the happiest of hump days!