I am here! I have written a post in my head three times this week. Another get real post. It is funny how thinking about how I can write about moments in my life some how give me comfort. I know that after writing it down I would realize I am not alone in the crazy big world of parenthood. Honestly I woke up on Wednesday with a whole load of things to get done and a text from Dani saying she could not make it. She too had things she had to get to. I recovered. I had the day in the palm of my hand, right? I mean it was just beginning, I just wokeup!! Generally have that voice in my head, you know that one that tells you, you are so underwater there is no way out. That one. It usually gives me a nice swift kick in the you know what and tells me there is no way I am getting to everything, but then reminds me there are 50 other things I am totally slacking on.
It is a snowball effect. It turns me into an agitated maniac and it makes me feel completely defeated. This continued through Thursday when I was running around from health food store to health food store with the kids trying to find an answer to the persistent rash that refuses to leave my daughters face. In the midst of that my oil light goes off on my car and rightfully so I have not had my oil changed since JUNE! Yep! you read that right. All to find out that Thursday night was the night that the boys HAD to be registered for the summer baseball league. That is all fine and dandy but I had plans Thursday night. Real plans with people I really like and I was not going to give them up. OK – It gets better I promise.
Well it did get better and although at that moment I wanted to go into a whole extra post from the day after halloween rant. Like, why is it when a mom has plans everything has to start coming apart at the seams? Why is it when I get 3 steps forward I end up at -1. Why is that? I know there are Dad’s out there and they feel the same way but I at that moment could not see past myself and how I could possibly keep up with life, right now.
Well I made it out Thursday night (and the boys are registered for their baseball teams). I sat at a table in a dimly lit Italian restaurant with a bunch of people who share the same passion for their children that I do. It was all worth it. As I drove home that night I said to myself how funny it is that life continues to be filled with stress and anxiety but if you just wait the upswing is always good. At the end of the day or week or month something good happens and you realize those crazy moments that seemed so overwhelming are just the preface to a memorable moment.
The end of our week has been one big crescendo. Good things are happening.
November is the month of thankfulness and since I can not commit to sharing something daily, because I am in that whole don’t over commit yourself mode. Today I am thankful for my husband. He fills me with strength. He is the perfect partner for me. When fear sets in he is right there to push the door closed on that voice. He reminds me of who I am and who I stand for when I forget. He also gets very little credit for being an amazing Dad and my best friend. So I am thankful for marriage and I am even more thankful that as of this week all my friends and family can share their lives with the person they love through that special union of marriage. That my friends, makes me very very happy.
Tomorrow I will be back with a special post. I can’t share all the details today but just know that Tori Spelling heard us. She heard all of us and she answered. She not only answered, but she too is joining forces to change perceptions and encourage inclusion of all children of all abilities! I can’t wait to share with you her exciting news!
The sun is shining today and I am so in love with this crazy and unpredictable life. I read somewhere that the key to happiness is gratitude and I believe.