I have been absent on this blog throughout this past month, mainly because I had to be present in my real life. There continues to be lots of talking and re-adjusting to get ready for the new school year. It works like this every year, the anxiety of starting a new year with the kids in school and our passion to make the year better then the previous one. It has all gotten me thinking. Why are we so worried about fixing each and every year? What can’t we be happy with our performance and build from our experience? What is it about life that we think it needs to be improved on? We are always trying to do the best possible job we can. Perfection is such a slippery slope and I have exhausted myself trying to live up to its standard.
What is perfection anyway? I spend my nights thinking about ways to see through perfection and notice beauty everywhere, yet I am striving to improve my “perfection” ranking all the time. I burn the candle any which way I can so that people perceive me as the “I got it all under control” girl, when really it is impossible to perform perfectly in every area of my life. I know this, but yet I continue to try, pushing myself, my kids, my husband with expectations that are not even realistic.
I think in the whole scheme of things I forgot to focus on the most important things and that explains my absence best. My real life family, my kids and my husband are what is important to me and everything else is a bonus. I want to celebrate life with them and some how I let obligations kick me off my “A” game. I am not superwomen, not even close. When I over commit my time my house becomes a disaster, my flowers dry up and my kids feel left out. So it is time for redirection. It is time to breathe. This time it is not about perception but just about being Mom. That requires me to go to bed! Sit on the couch and just be, something I have not done in a really long time.
I am trying not to care about perceptions because at the end of the day I am the only one that cares about those perceptions anyway. (Ironic isn’t it?) Blogs are so much fun but only show 10% of our day. Raising 6 kids is extremely time consuming and then running a business….well you can read between then lines. So I am here to announce that perfection does not live here but a family does, and this year we are going to do our best because that is all we can do. That is all that can be expected. So I will be writing less and telling our story through images more. Pictures are where my heart is and I love sharing them with all of you. The words are difficult for me so I am accepting that and moving forward.
As 3 of my kids go back to school and 3 of them begin a year of homeschooling I am excited! I look forward to watching them grow yet another year! I hope a pray for easy transitions for everyone! We will worry less about “perfection” and it will be more about “doing the best we can”!
Just alittle movie….it is crazy when you stop and take a moment and notice that your kids have a beautiful passion for music.
Happy Weekend Everyone!