Today was a big deal for a lot of reasons. My only daughter is starting dance class. It is something I have dreamed about. The little leotards and the ballet flats the whole package. I just knew it wasn’t in my cards and then there was Grace.
Over the past 3 years I picked up those leotards while shopping and threw them in my cart for the just in case dance lesson. I never quite knew when the day would come that I would actually drive my baby girl to her own lesson. Over the past months her legs have gotten stronger and she has become more confident and I knew that the time had come. She could learn to be a dancer.
So I signed her up and waited. I planned her outfit for the first day of class all the way down to the sweet leg warmers made by a very special friend who understands what it is like to raise a strong and amazing child who has different abilities then everyone else. She offered to make these special little leg warmers for her first day of class. It kind of made me feel like she was walking in with a little hug from both of us.
The day came, it was today and we started preparing 2 hours before the class. I wanted her to be comfortable in her outfit and shoes. She tried them all out and her face was glowing she knew that she was going some where special. We talked about the class and how she would listen to the teacher and practice her dancing. I taught her how to twirl on her tipi toes, just in case that was one of the moves explained in class.
When we arrived I was good. I was looking forward to seeing my girl walk confidently into the class with her peers! We walked into the building and I saw all the girls in their frilly tutus and pink leotards and all the sudden there was a rock in my stomach. They were running and laughing and I knew this was the beginning of letting my little girl fly. I had to let go of her hand and let her be Grace. I did just that and she ran along with the girls and then stopped to hug the pole. Patrick standing next to me started asking me, “Mom why is she hugging the pole? Why isn’t she running with the rest of the kids?” I explained to him that she was getting used to the environment. I told him to relax she was going to be fine. Suddenly the 3 boys that I forced into the car for their sisters dance lessen where standing on edge. They were waiting to see if she would be accepted. The way they wanted her to be accepted. She walked over to the wall and turned to look at us and again Patrick wanted to know why she was not with the rest of the kids. We called her over to put her ballet flats on and prepare her for class and I hear my name. I look up and I see a beautiful Mama I met a year ago. Another Mama who was also unsure if she was even going to bring her daughter to the class because she was so scared of exactly how everything would play out.
I knew right then it was going to be ok. We had each other and without even speaking we knew what we were both going through at that moment. We had to let our girls go and let them fly. We did it with tears in our eyes and they did it! They flew through the class like they had been there 100 times. Sam was comfortable from the second she walked in the room. Grace was more comfortable in the back of the room with the mirror and her space but they both laughed and celebrated their special day!
Tonight I sit here emotionally exhausted but it was worth it. She is flying, more and more every day. I pray for my own courage to continue to sit back and enjoy her beautiful journey. Today was good for my heart.
If you are interested in getting your own sweet little leg warmers, check this Mama out! She is amazingly talented and her work is gorgeous!! The Knitting Bitty gorgeous hats and infant sets as well!